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A lens is a series of glass elements enabling a [[camera]] to focus on a [[contributor|naked lady]]. [[Photographer|Photographers]] covet their lenses. Many photographers develop lens envy. It is not the size of the lens that matters, but what you do with it.

A big, long, hard lens will bring naked ladies up close to you. A short, fat lens will keep the ladies far away, unless you move in close. A macro lens will let you see a tiny bit of a naked lady. Most naked ladies agree, a slightly longer than normal lens is best. Not too long, and not too short, but still pleasurable. 

The field of view of a lens is dependent on its focal length. The focal length is relative to the [[sensor]]/film size. Due to the popularity of 35mm film cameras for several decades, most camera manufacturers quote their cameras lens size relative to an equivalent 35mm lens.

==Types of Lenses==
===Standard Lenses===
For 35mm cameras, a 50mm lens is considered the standard. It provides a natural field of view. For nudie portraits, the nudie might be uncomfortable with the lens that close to her naughty bits. A slightly longer lens enables the photographer to stand back a little. It also avoids the distortions of a wide-angle or long telephoto lens. 85mm or 105mm are considered great portrait lenses to make the best compromises of all.

===[[Wide Angle]] Lenses===
A shorter focal length lens provides a wider field of view. Generally, these lenses are used for landscape work. For naked lady picture taking, if the photographer stands a comfortable distance from the naked lady, she will appear to be far away in his viewfinder and on the final image. If he moves in closer, distortions to the normal view of the naked lady will occur. Extreme wide angle lenses are called fish-eye lenses. These lenses can record nearly 180 degrees left-to-right. The resulting image is often distorted. Portraits taken with a wide angle lens can make a naked lady's nose look HUGE compared to the rest of her face. This effect may be useful if the field of view is on her lower pair of eyes... errr, [[breasts]].

===[[Telephoto]] Lenses===
A longer focal length lens provides a narrower field of view. [[Voyeur|Voyeurs]] often use long telephoto lenses so that when discovered, they have a good head start before being chased down by the naked lady's male partner. A large telephoto lens is unnatural for personal photography of a naked lady. A very long focal lens may force you to stand in the next room to capture the whole naked lady in the frame. Telephoto lenses compress the distances between things, and can be useful as a trick to minimize the size of a HUGE nose on a naked lady. But this effect, as it tends to flatten features, should not be used to flatten other desirable womanly traits.

===[[Zoom]] Lenses===
[[Image:Zoom lens-20090801-112537-7.jpg|thumb|100px|Hidden in this image is a 24-105mm Zoom Lens by Canon]]
These lenses cover a range of focal lengths. Zoom lenses can be strictly wide angle, or they can be strictly telephoto. For naked lady photography, a zoom lens covering the slightly wide angle to slightly telephoto seems to work best for framing a subject quickly - the photographer does not have to move forward and back all the time.

===Teleconverters===
Many lens manufacturers also sell teleconverters that alter the focal length of any lens attached to it. A 2x teleconverter will double the focal length of a lens, and it will increase the f-stop as well (same opening/aperture and twice the focal length. f-stop = focal length/aperture opening).

==Picking a Lens==
You don't just pick one of your nostrils, so you shouldn't just pick one lens either. Fixed focal length lenses generally are sharper and faster than zoom lenses covering the same focal length. However, the convenience of not swapping lenses all the time is worth a little sharpness and speed. 

Point-n-shoot cameras make picking a lens simple - you take what they give you. However some sell teleconverter accessories for point-n-shoot cameras. The quality is never quite as good.

Some [[Old farts]] will tell you to buy the best you can - invest in the lens system.

[[Category:Photography]]